PAGAN PORNO?
by Pagan X

[Editor's note: This piece probably ought to be considered at
least partly as a publications review, but it seems to go some-
what farther abroad than the limits of that title, and makes an
interesting proposal, so we present it here, on its own two feet.
-Pete]

[Author's note: If you wish to pass over this Feminist diatribe,
at least read the last paragraph, as it contains information of
interest to the libidinous. Thank you. - Pagan X]

Once, long ago and in a bed far away, a former lover said
"If you were blonde with big breasts, you probably wouldn't be
into this Goddess-stuff."

A real feeling of pain, of sorrow, shot through me, from the
top of my head to somewhere near my heart. In my own bed, in my
own house, with someone who presumably loved me -- I was not
safe, not good enough, not free from comparisons. Beyond my
front door, I knew and accepted the constant battle with per-
fection: on posters, billboards, radio ads, TV shows, magazines,
comic books - the Barbie-body, the money, the make-up, the
clothes. In my own bed I still was not beautiful enough, because
I was not beautiful in the right way, and this he saw as the
entirety of my religious impulse.

Just as it bothered me in my own bed, I find an emphasis on
a certain form of beauty in Pagan art disturbing. I look up to
Pagan newsletters as my communication with co-religionists, for
the reassurance of their company in my commitment to the Goddess.
In a way, they are family, and while I don't always expect to
read what I believe on an issue, I also take them curiously to
heart. And so, I found myself responding strongly to the art in
"The Vigil; A Graphic Journal Of Wiccaen (sic) And Earth Reli
gions".

Graphic is right! The cover illustration features a prone
female nude upon the pentacle, all ready to be sacrificed, raped
or inundated with chocolate sauce for that matter; a very passive
and ominous figure. It was a representation of The Great Rite,
an aspect of Wiccan iconography beloved by sensational newspaper
columnists. The favored graphic of this 22 page production is
the naked body of the 16 to 23 year-old caucasian female accoun-
ted for in 22 nipples and 11 breasts behind something, that's 33
breasts in all, distributed among 31 female faces. The male
forms, also caucasian, ( none of which were full frontal nudes as
were many of the women), found a mere five representations. As I
have noted, all of them were missing something - phalli.

I prepared to review it negatively on the grounds of the
abysmal punctuation, spelling and folklore, which it all has. I
still feel that anyone who publishes a newsletter and presumes to
write should deign to use a dictionary, but I had to be honest
with myself. I hated this newsletter for the pictures. Gerald
Gardner couldn't spell, and was not the most critical folklorist
of his time, so who am I to talk? I also have to concede that
other people have different visions of Goddess, and have a right
to these visions, even if I think they are the fantasies of an
immature subconscious. If these people have a revelation that
says that Hecate is the same as Persephone, is about 18 years old
and doesn't wear any clothes, as long as they don't insist that
it's The One True Way of Goddess Worship, I shouldn't get snotty
about the overuse of double quotes in their newsletter. My
religion is not defined by one man's sexual fantasies (and that
includes Gerald Gardner), but it should be able to include them,
perhaps in a small, dark box somewhere in the bottom of Lake
Washington.

Beauty is a factor in my worship of the Goddess. I don't
want to measure up to an ideal of beauty that is false, and
obscene because it is false. Bo Derek, the Perfect 10, had ribs
removed to get a long waist, I'm told. I worship the Goddess
because She is all women, and the beauty of all women, many kinds
of beauty in many kinds of strengths and talents, and bodies
shaped to different sports, arts, and duties: scarred from
childbirth, rough-handed from washing dishes and diapers, myopic
from reading in bad light. The best dancer I ever saw was an
immense black woman, all pillowed fat; and under that fat of
living well, highly controlled muscles. She didn't move in a
tired, listless or cautious way, she didn't stomp or trip; she
was completely balanced within herself and radiating the joy of a
beautiful woman sharing her skill. I wanted to see many Goddes-
ses and equally varied priestesses, breasts drooping from nur-
sing, breasts unformed in childhood, with wide hips and narrow
hips and huge hands, with veins and moles, with muscles, stan-
ding, sitting, dancing, drawing, writing...and on top!

I want to see the God represented in a sexually exciting
manner! One of the five males in The Vigil is the editor's self-
portrait, the only portraiture, I might add (in other words, the
only other 'real' person). In other sacred literature, Jawweh
and His angels wear bathrobes all the time, or caftans, and even
poor Jesus has on at least a bath towel. Male figures in Pagan
art are often choir-robed Druids; I want to see the God in no-
thing but His fur, and not coyly behind some bush, either! I
want to see him with an erection - it doesn't have to be large,
just sincere. Sure, naked women are just art nouveau, but to
many a naked man is obscenity... dare to print them! Try to mail
it! It doesn't necessarily mean that an editor is a homosexual.
Why should they have all the fun? (And they do. There are some
wonderful Gods in the men's newsletters).

I, Pagan X, am a Dread Feminist, and as a Dread Feninist
could be expected to advocate censorship. Actually, I like
nudes, and I like sex, and I even watch Dark Shadows in the A.M.
daily on channel 11. Instead of censoring all the T&A publica-
tions, I would like to see a collection of Pagan erotica. After
all, the Goddess says, "All acts of love and pleasure are my
rituals," and I think I am safe in assuming that a healthy in-
terest in sex is one of the stronger lures of the Neo-pagan move-
ments. Send me your fantasies, poems, pen and ink drawings... of
meeting the Goddess at the campus coffee shop, and she, gently,
joyfully divesting you of your tortured virginity (you do not
have to be male to write this one), of encounters with tall,
dark, urbane men, gaunt and corpse cold yet with a world of
sorrow in their eyes, of dragon-transformations of high- school
nerds, of elderly women, of many women, many men, or all the
scenes that Dion Fortune glosses over in her novels. And, yes,
if you absolutely must, drawings of firm-breasted nymphs leaning
against a pentagram, because these will be selected by a commit-
tee so that politics will not intrude upon the really exciting.

We plan to put out a chapbook, or possibly even print some
of the more reserved works in these hitherto moral pages. All
the proceeds would go toward the Hecate Shrine land fund so that
we can have more space to run around religiously naked in the
great outdoors to Hecate's honor and glory. We hope that it will
be a product that you will be proud to hide under your mattress.
Send submissions to Pagan X, PO Box 85507, Seattle, WA., 98145.
This is for real! I'll be waiting for YOUR submissions, (written
only, please). - Pagan X

~~~~~~~~~~
Lest we forget, The Vigil is available from The Oaken Door, PO
Box 31250, Omaha, Nebraska 68132. Sample is $2, subscription
price is $1.50 per issue, as it is only published occasionally,
and comes in an envelope.
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SYSOP'S NOTE: I would be remiss in my duties if I failed to tell
you that this is from PANEGYRIA volume 2, number 8, and was
downloaded from Earthrite BBS (415-651-9496). PANEGYRIA costs $8
per year, and their address is Box 85507, Seattle, WA 98145.
Enjoy! - Talespinner, Sysop WeirdBase -----------------------------------------------------------------